Hate Me
by Kasey Elizabeth
Summary: Just a little song-fic, on the song "Hate Me" by Blue October. In Edward's POV. No flames!


Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse! Also, I made this in Edward's POV. No flames, or I will tell Jane Volturi to GET YOU!

Twilight. My favorite time of the day. I had about an hour before going to watch Bella, my love, sleep. So, I turned on my stereo system, and leaned back on the bed, thinking about the lyrics, and how they pertained to my life.

_I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head_

If I think of her, I sometimes have to immediately see her._  
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed  
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone_

My siblings always reminded me that I was without a partner before I met Bella._  
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home_

Ah, Emmett._  
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain_

How I feel when I leave Bella alone. Nervous._  
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?_

I felt this way when I left her. I just wanted her to have peace and a normal human life._  
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?_

When I left, I never wanted to hear those words again._  
And will you never try to reach me?  
It is I that wanted space_

I wanted her away from me that day in biology. I didn't want to kill her._  
_

_  
Hate me today  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you_

I wanted her to hate me for when I left her. So she would never think of me again. She was too good for me._  
_

_  
Hate me in ways  
Yeah ways hard to swallow_

I was fine with her hating me._  
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you_

I wanted her to have a normal human life._  
_

_  
I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with_

She helps me keep from killing her, with her love._  
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again_

My self-doubt._  
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night_

She always told me I was never a monster._  
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight_

She never doubted me._  
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate_

She loved me no matter what._  
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take_

Even when I thought myself a monster, she would tell me it was not true._  
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind_

I did this when I left her._  
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind  
_

_  
Hate me today  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you_

I wanted her to hate me for when I left her. So she would never think of me again. She was too good for me._  
_

_  
Hate me in ways  
Yeah ways hard to swallow_

I was fine with her hating me._  
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you  
_I wanted her to have a normal human life.

_  
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave_

I thought I would die when I left her._  
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made_

I felt so much guilt leaving her._  
And like a baby boy I never was a man  
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand_

I hated it when she cried when I left._  
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"_

I just curled up in a ball, blocking out the world._  
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be  
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"_

She didn't understand, nor did she want me, to leave._  
_

_  
Hate me today  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you_

I wanted her to hate me for when I left her. So she would never think of me again. She was too good for me._  
_

_  
Hate me in ways  
Yeah ways hard to swallow_

I was fine with her hating me._  
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you  
For you  
For you  
For you_

I wanted her to have a normal human life.

And with that, I stood and left to see my angel.


End file.
